Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Plaster Project

Patricia G.
   Long ago, I received a project to do in art school from a teacher who is best described as being...utterly incomprehensible. He was a nice man, but his name should've been Mr. I Have Tenure. I Don't Have To Make Sense. He would walk into the classroom and say things like, "A curve is not straight. A sphere is round. If you add water to the special white powder substance, you get a paste that is plaster. Okay, you have the whole class time to create. I'll go around and check on your progress throughout the day."
   What? Was that an assignment? It was like having The Riddler for an instructor.
   In that situation, I quickly figured out that it was pointless to confront the teacher and ask him straight out what the assignment was. He would just respond by saying, "A sphere is a round object. Round or circular. It can be bulbous. It must always have the 360-degree circumference. Then bring in the curve that has no sharp edges. I'll check your progress later."
   What? What? What?
   In the end, I ended up with the following object.

I keep it in a box with some other projects I created in that class. One day, I plan on having a big party, and I'll put the plaster piece on display. At the end of the party, I'll ask my guests, "For crying out loud, can anybody tell me what it is?"
   I have no idea what it is. That's why I keep it in a box so I don't have to see it and wonder about it all the time.
   I'm quite proud of the fact that no animals were harmed in the process of making it, but what is it? What is it? What is it?
   Oh well, I got an A on it. When it was all said and done, I learned...absolutely nothing.
   But before you go...
Here it is from the back. What do you think it is?

Here it is from the side. Can you tell what it is now?


Here it is when I just snuck up on it. What is it?