Saturday, April 14, 2012


   I’m preparing for the debut release of my upcoming humor book titled Funny?. Do you like the title? I agonized over the title for a while. If you don’t like it, please don’t tell me. Just nod, smile and say, “It’s a great title. I love it more than if it didn’t have the question mark.”

ME: Really? You love my title? Thank you. You’re too kind.
YOU: But what is the deal with the question mark?
ME: Well, I didn’t want to be presumptuous and expect everyone to think that everything in my book is funny. I thought I’d leave it up to the readers to decide what they think is funny. So it’s like I’m asking if you the reader think my book is funny. Isn’t it nice of me to leave that decision up to you readers?
YOU: Yes. You’re very kind. And talented, too. Yes, you’re very talented.
ME: Why, thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. Do you think you’ll be interested in ordering a copy of my book?
YOU: Sure.
ME: Thank you. Let me be the first to tell you how smart you are for ordering my book. Very smart indeed.
YOU: Thank you. I do like to be smart.
ME: And you are smart. You’re downright genius to order my book.
YOU: Of course. Everyone should be so smart to buy your book. Why wouldn’t someone buy your book? It’s supposed to make them laugh. Laughter is the best.
ME: Exactly. I love to laugh.
YOU: Me, too.
ME: Why would someone buy a book that makes them cry?
YOU: I don’t know. I wouldn’t. I want to laugh.
ME: Exactly.
YOU: Reality is depressing. I want to enjoy something funny.
ME: Well, my book is called Funny?. You should get it.
YOU: I am remember?
ME: Oh yeah. Yeah. You’re smart.
YOU: I know.
ME: So what are you going to do with my book after you read it?
YOU: I’m going to frame it.
ME: How can you frame a book?
YOU: After I buy your book, I’m gonna get one of those thick, box type frames for it and then stick that sucker right on in there.
ME: Oh, okay. You wouldn’t try to return it or sell it on ebay would you?
YOU: You dare insult me? I have morals and values you know.
ME: I’m sorry.
YOU: It’s okay.
ME: You wouldn’t put a cup on my book and use it as a coaster would you?
YOU: No.
ME: You wouldn’t take it out with your dog and play fetch with it would you?
YOU: Of course, not. That would be stupid. I’m smart remember?
ME: Right. Very smart. But uh...let’s go back to that ebay thing. Seriously, you wouldn’t resell it on ebay would you?
YOU: Oh, look at the time. I really must go.
ME: Hey, wait. You didn’t answer my question.
YOU: Sorry, I really must get going now, but don’t you worry. I’m going to order Funny as soon as possible.
ME: Wait, it’s called Funny?. Don’t forget the question mark!
YOU: Right. I won’t forget. Very clever of you to think that up.
ME: Thank you. Thank you very much, you smart, will order my book and read it and then frame it but won’t use it for fetch or as a coaster or to resell it on ebay person you.
YOU: You’re welcome!

TO VIEW A FREE EXCERPT OF Funny? by Patricia G, go to


   Apparently, April is Poetry Month. Who knew? According to Wikipedia (The Free Encyclopedia), "National Poetry Month is a celebration of poetry first introduced in 1996 by The Academy of Poetry as a way to increase awareness and appreciation of poetry in the United States."

   Okay, here is a confession of mine that just stays between us. It doesn’t go beyond this site. Agreed? Good. Here it is. I only understand my own poetry. There, I admit it! I can’t help it. How many of you are like me? Come on, show of hands here. How many of you are like me on this? (For all of you who are raising your hands right now, thank you. But you do realize I can’t see you, right? So maybe you should just put your hands down very slowly. Just pretend you were stretching if there are other people around who are wondering why you just raised your hand for no reason.)
   You see, I know what I mean when I write something because the idea and symbolism came out of my head, but I don’t always understand what other people mean when they write about something, and they’re not blunt about it.
   For example, the first two lines in the poem “Design” by Robert Frost are:
       "I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,
       On a white heal-all, holding up a moth"

   First of all, I’ve never seen a white spider before. I’ve only seen the little black ones, and have never ever felt the need to get close enough to notice if they had dimples. A dimple on a spider? What? How? Don’t want to know. I just squash them and don’t ask questions.
   Secondly, when I see heal-all, I think of something medicinal like aspirin. A spider sitting on an aspirin? Apparently not. A heal-all in this poem refers to a flower. I’ve heard of roses, tulips, and daffodils. I’ve never heard of a flower called heal-all, but whatever. If I didn’t cheat and look up the meaning of the entire poem, I wouldn’t know what Mr. Frost was writing about.
   And don’t even get me started on Shakespeare’s sonnets. I had to look up practically every other word when I read them in school. Trust me, I earned my A and my constant headaches in that Shakespeare class.
    So basically, most poems that I don’t write myself confuse me. Am I alone here?
    Well, since I mentioned poetry, I thought I’d add one to this post. Let me know what you think.

Patricia G.

Find me
Chasing dreams,
Reaching out to past goals.
See you, Dream Killer
Saying I can’t,
You so-and-so.

Catch me
Venturing out,
Blogging and Facebooking,
What’s a tweet?
Is it cheap?
Opportunity as an app?

Spotted you
Laughing still,
Aspirations ready to kill.
Thinking I won’t,
You so-and-so.

Notice me
Site creating
Risk debating
Taking leaps
Chasing dreams
Cause there’s nowhere else to go.

The other way to express this poem is...

Trying to be a dream killer?
That’s not right.
The End.

What? You expected more? I think that last part was Haiku or something. Yes, see creativity can come in many forms, I tell you. Many, many forms. Some of them are good, and some of them not so much.   

Happy Poetry Month!