I’m preparing for the debut release of my upcoming humor book titled Funny?. Do you like the title? I agonized over the title for a while. If you don’t like it, please don’t tell me. Just nod, smile and say, “It’s a great title. I love it more than if it didn’t have the question mark.”
ME: Really? You love my title? Thank you. You’re too kind.
YOU: But what is the deal with the question mark?
ME: Well, I didn’t want to be presumptuous and expect everyone to think that everything in my book is funny. I thought I’d leave it up to the readers to decide what they think is funny. So it’s like I’m asking if you the reader think my book is funny. Isn’t it nice of me to leave that decision up to you readers?
YOU: Yes. You’re very kind. And talented, too. Yes, you’re very talented.
ME: Why, thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. Do you think you’ll be interested in ordering a copy of my book?
ME: Thank you. Let me be the first to tell you how smart you are for ordering my book. Very smart indeed.
YOU: Thank you. I do like to be smart.
ME: And you are smart. You’re downright genius to order my book.
YOU: Of course. Everyone should be so smart to buy your book. Why wouldn’t someone buy your book? It’s supposed to make them laugh. Laughter is the best.
ME: Exactly. I love to laugh.
YOU: Me, too.
ME: Why would someone buy a book that makes them cry?
YOU: I don’t know. I wouldn’t. I want to laugh.
YOU: Reality is depressing. I want to enjoy something funny.
ME: Well, my book is called Funny?. You should get it.
YOU: I am remember?
ME: Oh yeah. Yeah. You’re smart.
YOU: I know.
ME: So what are you going to do with my book after you read it?
YOU: I’m going to frame it.
ME: How can you frame a book?
YOU: After I buy your book, I’m gonna get one of those thick, box type frames for it and then stick that sucker right on in there.
ME: Oh, okay. You wouldn’t try to return it or sell it on ebay would you?
YOU: You dare insult me? I have morals and values you know.
ME: I’m sorry.
YOU: It’s okay.
ME: You wouldn’t put a cup on my book and use it as a coaster would you?
ME: You wouldn’t take it out with your dog and play fetch with it would you?
YOU: Of course, not. That would be stupid. I’m smart remember?
ME: Right. Very smart. But uh...let’s go back to that ebay thing. Seriously, you wouldn’t resell it on ebay would you?
YOU: Oh, look at the time. I really must go.
ME: Hey, wait. You didn’t answer my question.
YOU: Sorry, I really must get going now, but don’t you worry. I’m going to order Funny as soon as possible.
ME: Wait, it’s called Funny?. Don’t forget the question mark!
YOU: Right. I won’t forget. Very clever of you to think that up.
ME: Thank you. Thank you very much, you smart, will order my book and read it and then frame it but won’t use it for fetch or as a coaster or to resell it on ebay person you.
YOU: You’re welcome!
TO VIEW A FREE EXCERPT OF Funny? by Patricia G, go to Amazon.com