Are You Birding Me?

ARE YOU BIRDING ME?

By

Patricia G.

   Is it just me or do pigeons all of a sudden have mega attitudes? I'm not kidding.

   I was walking down the street the other day, and I saw a pigeon walking on the ground (I say walking on the ground) directly in my pathway. It didn't look injured. It didn't look like it was looking for food or anything. It was just strolling. Just strolling along like all of the other New Yorkers as if it was normal. As I got closer to it, it didn't fly off, startled or speed up its pace. Nope. Nothing. In fact, it kind of looked at me as if to say, "What? Yeah, I'm walking here. Have wings, but don't feel like using them. Walk around me, lady. Walk around me!"

   It was ridiculous. I had to pause for a second to absorb the fact that I was getting serious attitude from a bird. I say a bird! A bird that I could've easily knocked off with one good stomp of my foot. But of course, animals have amazing instincts. It knew I would never harm such a little creature even though it ticked me off.

   And as I ended up actually walking around the all of six inches, stone-colored bundle of feathers, I couldn't help thinking this was truly absurd.

   I mean how lazy has our society become that even our winged creatures don't even want to fly anymore? It was a bird. A bird! Got wings? Yeah, cause it's a bird! Why wasn't it in the sky, up on a rooftop or at the very least hanging out in a tree?

   It made me realize just how scary reality is becoming.

   Kids don't know how to use their imaginations anymore. They don't play with toys because they have gadgets. People don't talk to each other anymore. They text and tweet each other. Slowly but surely, brick and mortar stores are being eliminated. Shopping will become mainly an online activity in the future. Privacy is a fading luxury.

   But I tell you it's a real sad day when birds don't feel like soaring in the air to drop poop on cars anymore.